I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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