KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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