is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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