we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
