Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
and she was petting her beer can
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
