oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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