We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
