if you like me you must not know who I am
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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