So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
