i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
