we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize