This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
