I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
