so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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