You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
