I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
