New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
