Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
