She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
