I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
