Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
