god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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