where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
