no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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