then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
