thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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