just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
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