Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
