totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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