We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize