He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
