He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize