You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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