i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
