the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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