Swine flu. Run for my life!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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