gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize