If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
