I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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