apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This is classic penis vs brain.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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