Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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