Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize