Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
