is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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