what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
