I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
