if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
