he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
