I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
