Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
