We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
