Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
