I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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