i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
