is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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