11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
