I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
