omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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