This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize