I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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