do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
