Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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