HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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