The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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