garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
